PUBLIC FIGURES - 02/14/19

We’ve Gone To The Dogs

Meet the Pups

Rudy

Breed: Boxer

Age: 10

About: Working hard to perfect more than one look (ala Zoolander) and generally failing miserably but can turn both left and right. Looks grumpy; actually happy. Unable to cross front legs (arms?).

Likes: Butter.

Dislikes: Wet grass.

Milly

Breed: Weimaraner

Age: 11

About: Still waters run deep. Wistful, thoughtful, confusing. Similar to Matthew McConaughey when he did those Lincoln commercials i.e. no-one’s sure what’s going on there but we like it.

Likes: Kant, Chomsky, Nietzsche. Deep thought + deep-fried things.

Dislikes: Being compared to Matthew McConaughey who, let’s face it, is more Golden Retriever than deep-thinker.

Muggins

Breed: Small Yorkie X Something Else

Age: 10

About: The Tom Cruise of dogs: Tiny, cute, jumps on couches, dangerous if left unsupervised. Currently plotting the canine takeover of the world.

Likes: Mission Impossible.

Dislikes: Anything with Bruce Willis

Birdie

Breed: American Pitbull X

Age: 4

About: Nervous generally but with a conflicting (and unbearable) sense of FOMO. Doesn’t want to do things; doesn’t want to miss out on things.

Likes: Spice bags and early nights.

Dislikes: Fast-moving things. Grapes.

Buzz

Breed: American Staffordshire Terrier X

Age: 5

About: Irish-American lad with a tough exterior and gentle eyes. Can bark the alphabet. Minor separation anxiety issues and will likely follow you wherever you’re going.

Likes: Wearing human pyjamas, sharing your bed with you. WWF back in the 80s when it was better. The People’s Elbow.

Dislikes: Being left alone.

Hank

Breed: Cavachon

Age: 1

About: Half dog, half Ewok. Soft on the outside, softerer on the inside. Strong possibility that he is a child’s toy come to life.
Likes: CHICKEN. Nicholas Cage in National Treasure. Treasure hunts in general. Digging.

Dislikes: Skateboards. Other dogs, children (anyone that doesn't have chicken).

Ned Bark

Breed: Bichon Frise X Shih Tzu

Age: 2

About: Currently settling into the ‘Terrible Twos’ and loving it. Cheeky, fun, sweet and definitely not listening to you.

Likes: The part in Jurassic Park where Samuel L. Jackson says ‘Hold on to yer butts’. Nachos. 

Dislikes: Doing the thing you asked him to do.

Trixie

Breed: Miniature Bichon Frise X Long Haired Chihuahua

Age: 3

About: A bonafide lady who will submit to a walk ONLY if YOU are the one who is walking and she is the one being carried. Paws that belong to an actual teddy bear, built-in fur collar, prefers gemstones to chew toys. Never gets lost due to refusal to move.

Likes: Being carried, Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Dislikes: Moving on one’s own.